Empty stalls and full cribs



Though the fig tree does not bud and there are no grapes on the vines, though the olive crop fails and fields produce no food, though there are no sheep in the pen and no cattle in the stalls, yet I will rejoice in the Lord, I will be joyful in God my Savior. The Sovereign Lord is my strength; he makes my feet like the feet of a deer; he enables me to go to the heights. Habakkuk 3:18-19

I love looking back through my old journals and recalling different seasons in my life story. I recently read the following entry and could remember these feelings of pain like it was yesterday but I marveled at the Father’s goodness and faithfulness in our lives since these words were recorded. He has redeemed the pain of infertility and the loss of our first three babies, and He has given us amazingly more than we could ever have hoped or imagined. He gave us four healthy babies born from my womb. We now have children ages 8,7,6, and 4. Wow. . . I am still amazed!!! Our Father is able to do the impossible! To Him be all glory and honor!!! 

In February 2002 I wrote. . .

The last two weeks have been painfully familiar. Mark and I are learning to surrender our plans, our hearts’ desire and the pain of our loss to our Heavenly Father. God is teaching us so much as we yield our hearts to Him. We know and believe that God’s plan for our lives is best and that we must trust Him even when His ways do not make sense. Shall we accept good from God, and not trouble? Job 2:10 God has truly carried us as we grieve the loss of our third baby. The brief life of this child had purpose and we celebrate this life as a glimpse of God’s glory and His faithfulness. God was faithful to open my womb and faithful to give us the strength and comfort to let go of our little miracle. The Lord gave and the Lord has taken away; blessed be the name of the Lord. Job 1:21 

We thank God for the grace to trust Him and believe Him in the midst of our suffering. But those who suffer he delivers in their suffering; he speaks to them in their affliction. Job 36:15 Mark and I are experiencing God’s love, tenderness, and compassion in unbelievable ways. Mrs. Charles E. Cowman wrote in, Streams in the Desert, “Whoso hath felt the Spirit of the Highest cannot confound Him, or doubt Him, or deny.” God is so faithful to pour out His love and to engulf us in His presence. There is no denying that we are being carried and strengthened by the Most High. His grace is sufficient, and His strength is powerful. Indeed, God is our life-support, and he breathes hope into our weary hearts. The world pities our circumstances, but we see the richness of where God has us. Our hearts are overflowing with the abundance of His presence. He is real, and He is good. I can truly say that NOTHING compares with knowing Him through the fellowship of suffering. He is holy, and His ways are perfect! 

Now that I am on the other side of this season of suffering, I have the privilege of SEEING His glory revealed in my heart and in the sweet faces of our four gifts from the Father. I am humbled by His goodness and faithfulness and I will never stop thanking Him for bringing unspeakable beauty from the ashes of our pain and loss. To Him be the glory!


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